Measuring Success

Over the past few weeks, I've reconnected with several folks from my past on Facebook and Twitter. It's an interesting end to the story to see what my High School friends have experienced over the past 30 years. There's good news and bad news, happiness and sadness, and occasionally a sense of missed expectations i.e. "My life did not turn out as planned"

What should we expect from life, especially when we're 16 years old?

Some want fame.

Some want fortune.

Some want power.

Since High School I've discovered that life is much more subtle than that. Life is about finding your passion and committing every day to it.

In my case, I wake up every day and ask

"How can I make my wife and my daughter happy today?"

"How can I ensure patients will receive the best possible care through the use of the IT systems I oversee?"

"How can I experience some wonder of the natural world - something as simple as watching a plump squirrel meander through my back yard or feeling the wind on my face as I run through a local forest?"

If you're doing what you love to do, have the basics of food/clothing/shelter/health, and have people you care for/care about you, then you're successful.

My 16 year old daughter will apply to college next year.

Will I measure her success based on an application to Harvard, Stanford, or MIT? Will I only feel satisfied if she becomes a doctor, lawyer, or public figure? Will I demand that she marries into a family with wealth, power or fame?

The answer is simple - I've told her to find her passion and pursue it with gusto, becoming the best she can be at whatever brings her joy. That could mean Middlebury or Mass Bay (a local community college). It could mean Pharmacology or Farming. It could mean marrying a member of the Forbes 400 or a Forest Ranger with a great sense of humor.

We set expectations based on what we believe society defines as success. The problem with this is that society continuously changes the definition. When I was an Emergency Medicine Resident, ER was the most popular new series on television and society defined my intended career as glamorous. Then again, society also defined Wall Street as a highly desirable career. Society's expectations are ephemeral.

In my youth, I thought society defined success as the car you drive, the house you own, and the clothes you wear.

Today, I know that none of these things really matter.

Define your expectations as pursuing your passion and you'll not be writing "My life did not turn out as planned" 30 years from now. For me, life is filled with daily adventures and no particular expectation where I will end up, but the journey will be quite a ride.